Chances are, upon reading this title, only one figure comes to mind: God.
Yes, a blog post about God—the one and only.
Humans and God have always shared a complicated relationship. We want to believe in her, we knew her in the past, but now society whispers we don’t need her anymore, that she isn’t there. We can’t quite articulate why. People attribute it to our rationalist, materialist worldview, yet God remains no less present in the rational and material than she ever was.
We can proclaim our faith in science alone, dismissing God as fairy tale. But as we venture deeper, drawing closer to truth’s core, many of us sense something more waiting there. Not all of us, perhaps—but certainly some.
All-Knowing, All-Intelligent, All-Good. The ancient question “How could a good God allow evil to exist?” may not actually challenge her goodness or her existence. Instead, it reveals something else: that her experience seems irreconcilable with our human sense of good and evil—not because we suffer, but because we must recognize that she, too, suffers. An All-Knowing, All-Intelligent, All-Good God must also be All-Loving, All-Enjoying, and finally, All-Suffering.
Paradoxically, our most traumatic and painful experiences often draw us closest to God, at least in recent history, now that science reveals these connections. My childhood faith burned strong and clear. As the real world wore against me, that flame weakened into disbelief. But when that same world kicked me down—and kept kicking—something shifted. When mental breakdown showed me that even our daily logic could be replaced by something crueler, when hallucinations and delusions finally lifted to reveal the same indifferent world that didn’t care I’d lost a month to madness, God no longer seemed distant.
She seemed right there.
She still does. I glimpse her in every synchronicity, in each mystery of the soul, in the gentle mischief of my poodle puppy. 🐩 And I understand something now: if she exists, she suffers more than she loves, aches more than she rejoices. Because there is no perfect possible existence to create, no “best of all possible worlds” that contains both meaning and no suffering.
Perhaps her existence, by its very nature—so vastly different from ours—must be all the more imperfect in its experience. And I sense, too, that her soul changes. She grows alongside us, through us. This universe may end before she feels more joy than pain, but I believe that time will come for her.
That too will pass.
— END POST.